Archive for the ‘Movie Reviews’ Category

If I have said it once, I have said it more than once… “Instead of doing (fill in the blank), I would rather have a pap smear.” Valentine’s Day was no exception.

Valentine's Day...

Staring everyone and their little sister’s, baby daddy’s, cousin’s, uncle’s, nephew’s friend, Valentine’s Day follows a bunch of random celebrities, who are somehow intertwined within that whole six-degrees of separation deal.

Watching Jennifer Garner traipse through mistakes that all of us see in a friend but just can’t tell them, is gut wrenching. However, watching Patrick Dempsey get caught was pure genius. It’s the kind of revenge you only hope to come by – cutting up clothes is soo 20th century. He needs to be nut-checked.

Ashton Kutcher is the type of friend everyone one wants to have and every girl pretends she is looking for – we all know who they end up with. Don’t I know the story all too well.

George Lopez is the typical funny guy, Queen Latifah the stereotypical high-class tack sitter, Julia Roberts is an endearing soldier and the two machoest men in movies today just happen to be gay. Blah, blah blah, boring details. However, it’s the young and the old that get me.

When love is betrayed, I can’t help but only HOPE I can be as forgiving as Hector Elizondo to Shirley MacLaine. When Topher Grace discovers Anne Hathaway’s secret, I can only DREAM that someone can eventually overlook my idiosyncrasies like he did. When Carter Jenkins and Emma Roberts face a desperate point in their relationship, I can only WONDER if the person I end up with will wait for an eternity for all I have to offer before marriage. And when the annoying as all get out character that Taylor Swift plays – heck yeah, I got to say my own last name – collapses to the floor after receiving a goodbye kiss from Taylor Lautner, I can only WISH that a girl will feel the same for me, my image and touch lingering on hours afterwards.

And when the day is done, I can only IMAGINE what it will feel like to get that final text of confirmation.

So I wonder what will come first for me, Love or a Pap Smear.

With my legs crossed tight and my ratings giving this movie ONE THUMB UP MY (Touching) Your Nose, I hope I receive the former, without the screaming pain of what the latter (a pap smear) and a broken heart can leave.

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Don’t you just hate when you are geared up for a movie. You, going along with the theatre cliché, get your popcorn ready, crack open a soda and cozy up ready to take in some cinematic pleasure. Then, suddenly you find yourself playing with cournels and finding that even chewing on them is more exciting than the unbelievable characters on the screen.

Well, Fear No More! I am here to bring you a TYN (Touch Your Nose)  Approved Movie: Extraordinary Measures!

Extraordinary Measures

Based on a true story and the book The Cure by Geeta Anand, Brendan Fraser, Harrison Ford & Felicity – I may never stop calling her that, Felicity…Felicity… Felicity – also known as Keri Russell, star in a movie in which two of their (Keri and Brendan) children are born with a fatal disease known as Pompe nope, I have never heard of it either, Tay-Sachs yeah (a story for another time), but not Pompe. My knee reaction to the word had me thinking of Palm Trees.

Brendan Fraser (John Crowley) a top-notch executive can’t stand to watch both of his children die – as the disease progresses it enlarges the internal organs and will eventually lead to death. He charts a plane to another part of the U.S., completely spontaneous, and basically bribes a doctor (Harrison Ford) into furthering his theories on controlling the affects of Pompe on humans.

The big issues are that the doctor, Harrison Ford (Dr. Robert Stonehill), hasn’t actually put his theories into practical practices, the university he is at is slacking on the funding, and above all his personality straight sucks. I mean his people skills are as painful as trying to have a make-out session with a cactus. However, Brendan Fraser does not take no for an answer.

Through jeopardizing his career, medical coverage for his kids and ultimately his life, a little betrayal is added to the mix as well, Brendan Fraser does whatever he can to extend his time with his kids.

Here comes a spoiler.

I CRIED! Yes, the tears were coming down my face. Not alligator tears. Slow, driplets, the sentimental kind.

All I could think of was watching my kids, faces bright and shining, slowly marching towards death and feeling completely helpless. And then, when I realized what type of person I was, I dried my eyes knowing I would do everything and more to extend their lives by even one minute if I got the chance – yes, I’d kiss a cactus.

This picture gets a big TWO THUMBS UP (Touching) Your Nose!

Enjoy!